Women Taking Charge: 5 Steps to Succeed in Life and Work

Creative Options: Workbook Exercises for Growth (Chapter 7)

EXERCISE SIX: Visualization Exercise for Coping with Stressful Circumstances

You will have more control over your behavior if you use visualization to assist you to reach your goal. Visualization will help you stay focused on your goal.

The following visualization is not intended to "get rid" of your frustration/anger, rather, it is intended to help you realize that you always have choices regarding: 1) how you respond and deal with circumstances, and 2) how you can reduce stress and continue to be productive.

Get into a comfortable position either sitting or lying down. Close your eyes and take several slow, deep breaths. Allow your body to relax, turning your head back and forth, lifting your shoulders up and down and relax these muscles as you exhale. Tense and relax any other areas of your body where you notice tension. Continue to use your breathing as the tempo for your relaxation. Think to yourself: "I relax with each exhale."

Now, remember a recent situation at work which caused stress for you. Picture the scene as it occurred. Notice what was going on. Pay attention to any tensions in your body as you recall this scene.

Continue to visualize the scene in your mind while you take a deep and relaxing breath. As you do this, begin to feel as if a spring breeze is blowing upon you. This breeze is refreshing and light and you feel a sense of calmness all about you. Continue to breathe easily and to relax while feeling this breeze.

Begin to picture in your mind that you are walking through a forest. As you continue to breathe, notice the vivid green color of the forest. See the sun peeking through the treetops. See the branches of the trees swaying easily in the breeze. Hear the birds chirping. Feel the breeze blow gently on your face.

Now, bringing this sense of relaxation with you, return to the stressful work scene in your mind and continue to repeat the breathing and relaxing technique until you are able to view the scene without reacting with tension or anger.

This method takes practice but it is worth the effort. By practicing visualization, you can learn to respond in a more effective way. It is important to understand that you are not ignoring your anger. Rather, you are noticing and accepting it and deciding consciously not to react at the moment. You can process angry feelings at a later time when it is safe and appropriate to do so. The visualization method will help you think more clearly about what you can do to change the situation for your benefit.

You are in control of your anger; your anger is not in control of you.

Women Taking Charge: 5 Steps to Succeed in Life and Work is a useful tool for people going through transitions and reevaluating their personal and professional goals. I believe this would be a valuable self-help methodology for sorting out priorities and determining how to move forward.

- Deborah Dagit, Director of Diversity, Silicon Graphics, Inc., Mountain View, CA

Paula reminds women (and men) that feelings of anger and frustration are important signs something's not working. Included in Women Taking Charge: 5 Steps To Succeed In Life And Work is a clearly written process for dealing with anger and, even better, effective ways to take the emotions of anger at work and create an improved situation."

- Mary Lautner, Program Manager, Sun Microsystems, Palo Alto, CA

Paula Leslie is an accomplished professional who has experienced what she writes about. Women Taking Charge: 5 Steps To Succeed In Life And Work has the necessary information, nicely presented, that will enable women to handle anger issues in the workplace. We men could also benefit from this information.

- Sid Wilkins, Ph.D., Anger Violence, Workplace Consultant, Chairman - Wilkins and Wilkins International, Inc.